Open Letter to Terrorists.

Dear Terrorists;

You know what’s better than blowing things up and shooting people for a twisted concept of faith?

Pretty much everything.

Something else really cool about all those other things: most of them don’t require you to die a brutal death when you do them.

Waterslides, for example. Lots of fun. People like them. No brutal death required. And if you don’t like it, you’re still alive to try something different the next day. With this whole martyrdom thing, what if once you get there, it turns out you really hate it…. AND you have to die a brutal death doing it?

We have a term for situations like that in American, and that term is SUCKY! We’d all really appreciate it if you’d keep these things – especially the waterslides – in mind when you’re planning your schedules from now on.

Really. I’m trying to help.

Thanks in advance,

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