And so it Begins

Hello. Thank you for dropping by.

I’ve been putting off getting started on this site for several reasons. The most prohibitive being that it’s been a while since a friend helped me get this site built and I’m ready for a change in appearance. It’s a little awkward working on something like this, which I want to invite people to read, when it’s not quite how I want it to be.

But.

I’ve wasted too much time not writing, and lost too much that I wanted to say, so I think the best move is to write, and worry about the web design later.

The purpose of this site is to talk about addiction, and all things related to addiction. I spent about twelve years in active heroin addiction, and the last five of that I used methamphetamine on a daily basis. In June of 2016 I went to rehab and have been clean ever since.

In the course of my addiction, I was arrested several times. Until I started using, I’d never been arrested. I was 38 the first time I went to jail. I also had my home raided by the North Texas Drug Task Force, was in a hotel room buying dope when it was robbed and got hit the face with a lead pipe getting a particularly nasty concussion and ended up in a trauma ward with doctors saying I might have to have cranial surgery. I then checked myself out of the trauma ward about 24 hours after the incident because I was going through withdrawal and wanted to go score.

During the course of my addiction, I totaled several cars, two of them Porsches, and eventually had to stop driving because my insurance dropped me and I couldn’t afford to keep buying cars after I lost my job working for a big name in tech because I kept leaving to score at lunch and would stay gone too long.

But there are undeniably good aspect to happened as well. I learned about what a relationship can endure. I saved the lives of a couple of people who had overdosed and would have died otherwise. I lived through some extremely hard times and came out the other side a little closer to being at peace with myself. The part which often gets overlooked in stories of recovery is that there are reasons people start using and that’s something which I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. I was doing well in my career and moving up, but I was also deeply dissatisfied with my life. I started using and world got turned completely upside down. Three years into my recovery and I’m still no where near where I was in my finances and professional life, but I think maybe my spirit benefitted from the experience in ways I’m still discovering.

In spite of everything, I am not sure that the way the country and the world looks at drugs, addiction and addicts is the most effective way to addressing the issue. The drug war has made the cartels stronger and opioid abuse is at an all-time high in America. I’m not sure what the right way of addressing addiction is, but I think it’s safe to say that what we’re doing now isn’t working.

Mostly, this site is for me to record and reflect the things I’ve been through, and to remind myself why I’m not using. Maybe others will read my cautionary tale and not go down the road I went down, or maybe they’ll just look at some of the bad decisions I made and laugh. I’m fine either way.

This is, by the way, some of the most clumsy writing I’ve ever done, because I’m eager to finally be done with the introduction and get down to the meat of it. With that, I bid you both goodbye for now and welcome to my world.

I will be back before long to tell you more.

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